LF

*Childfree *Fancy Free*
*Living Fully to 95*

FAQs About Being Childfree By Choice

Childfree doesn't mean meaningless. Enjoy your childfree lifestyle.

What does "childfree" mean?

It means no children. In context, I am childfree. 

No foster children.

No stepchildren.

No biological children. 

No interest in raising any of the above. 


Childfree is the updated version of "childless".  


There are those who want children but cannot have them for various reasons. Childfree implies a choice. 

Does that mean you hate children?

No. 

Are you sure?

Absolutely. I like kids. I intentionally spend time with my two nephews. 

There are people who despise children.  I am not one of those people. 


That being said, I only like well-behaved children and only for a few hours at a time.

 ( My nephews are allowed to stay longer.)

Why are you writing about not having children?

I got annoyed with the constant questions and warnings that I would regret it. I realized I needed to voice my choice to 

  1. shut people up
  2. let younger generations know that this is a valid lifestyle choice that comes with its own rewards
  3. speak to the growing community of openly childfree-by-choice individuals and couples who are searching for someone to relate to

What if you meet the right man? Won't you change your mind?

In this age of gender fluidity, what does a man have to do with it? Single parenthood, adoption, surrogacy, all common these days. 


 One doesn't need a partner to be a parent. 


 The "right" person for me or for many childfree individuals is also childfree.


 It's about respect and a shared life vision, not the hormonal urge to procreate.


Think about it.....do YOU-a living soul- want to have kids or is it just an urge your brain receives from your body and you blindly assume it's what "you" want?

                   or

Do YOU- a living soul want to have children or is it the constant message society sends, telling you how life begins when you have kids?

How are you so sure that you don't want children?

I've been ambitious since early childhood. I pursue my interests wholeheartedly, usually with tunnel vision. I see parenthood as a distraction and do not have the desire for it.  If I had an interest in motherhood, I would have had kids in my 20's.



More FAQs

Childfree meme: She won't procreate just to fit in.

I wouldn't trade my kids for all the trips in the world. You're missing out on the greatest joy. ***

Is this a question?


I do travel a lot but I also love to stay home more than anything. My greatest joy is my peaceful home life. I don't feel like I'm missing out. 


 ***Note to other childless people -when someone says this to you "You're missing out", it's usually coming from a place of insecurity. Misery loves company. Don't fall for it. 

Don't you want to be a grandparent someday?

No. 


If you have kids just so you can be a grandparent, you are putting pressure on your children to live a life they may not actually want. Now who's being selfish? 


Also, I know a lot of grandparents who are pressured to look after-raise their grand-kids while the parents are off on holidays or busy with careers or what have you. The cycle never ends for some people. 


I have two nephews, one who doesn't want to be a parent. I may be a "great-aunt" one day but I don't base my future happiness on something that may or may not happen. 

Who's going to take care of you when you are old?

Paid professionals who specialize in elder care. 


Why on earth would you want to make your children put their lives on hold so they can be your nurse?

I'm not looking after my one living parent, I'm not a caregiver. I was not raised to be a caregiver. 

My parents didn't look after their parents. 


Also, I aim to be very active and enjoying various careers in my elder years. If I'm not so lucky, I have a will, personal directive, and enduring power of attorney that states the kind of care I would want for myself.  With the finances to back it. 


Please do not use your children or grandchildren as a retirement plan. It's unfair to them.


Are you married?

No. 

Do you want to get married?

I don't know you, so probably not. But thanks for the proposal. 


I'm open-minded to marriage later on in life but I don't know if it's necessary for me. 

What's the point of your life if you don't have kids?

The point of my life is to express myself in the greatest of ways. 


The point of my life is to share my experiences and insights in a way that entertains and informs some people who are looking for alternative ways to live. 


The point of my life is to live well and to allow good fortune to bless me and to inspire others to live well beyond society norms. 


Ask me again in 60 years. 


Childfree memes. Digital content that represents the childfree by choice lifestyle.

Why are you against parenthood?

I'm not against parenthood. Well, I know it's not for me so I suppose I am against it in that respect. 


I'm not here to talk anyone who wants to be a parent out of being a parent. I'm here for those who are unsure about having kids. I'm here for those who cannot have kids and feel sad about it. 


I'm here to show by example that life is wonderful without kids. 


Ultimately, you alone are responsible for your own happiness and you alone know what is true in your heart. 


Do you ever wonder what your life would be like with kids?

That's a great question.


 No, I don't.  


I ask the Universe how I can be of service to humanity and then go about my day.


Because I feel hopeful and inspired by my life vision, I can't and don't imagine having anything dependent on me. 


Oh there we go, that's the real reason I don't have kids. I like things/people that can take care of themselves.


I don't even have pets. I have 21 plants but I can leave them for 2 weeks when I go on road trips. 

Isn't family the most important thing in life?

How many people are stressed out because of family? Nearly everyone. 


I have a family. A dad, a brother, and two nephews. My mother passed away when I was 22. 


We all look after our own needs and when we get together it's nice. But ultimately we are responsible for our own affairs. 


Same goes for my extended family. 

How do you deal with loneliness?

I'll tell you a secret- I don't get energy from people. The greatest things for me are my solo road trips to private destinations where I don't know anyone and also being in the comfort of my own home, by myself. 


To have the space and luxury of time to explore life on my own terms is not something I take for granted. 


If you get your energy from being around people, if you need someone to need and want you, then my lifestyle would not sound appealing. 

Why are you denying your purpose to bear children and give love?

To prove everything that’s wrong with this question.


When I was a little girl, I wanted to know what existed beyond the standard practice of marriage and children. 


I felt there were other happy possibilities for me besides what I saw everyone else do. Something more suitable. 


I crave space and freedom. I didn’t want to wait until retirement and an empty nest.



What do I do if I don't really want kids?

  • Birth control-if that applies to you


  • Talk to someone you trust or other childfree people ( you can email me if you have no one else). Saying the words out loud is a very profound experience. You will know how you truly feel when you say it out loud. 

         "I don't want to be a parent!"


  • Read other people's experiences. Google "mommy confessions". That's one way of finding out the real story of parenthood. ( Daddy confessions and parent confessions also works)


  • Go live your life. Having an interest in taking care of yourself, exploring hidden talents, contributing to your community-all of these things will enhance your day to day life and take you unexpected places. 


  • Be honest with the person(s) sharing your bed. Just because someone would make a great parent doesn't mean you have to give them a kid. No matter how much you love them and don't want to lose them. 

      If you don't want children, you will see that you don't. I've gone 36 years without a pregnancy scare. 


Your actions are louder than your words.  


I say this to the parents who yell at their kids and then turn to me and say " parenthood is the greatest joy I've ever known."